Associate/Youth Pastor’s Wife – Page 4

Give Me Some Routine

Posted on February 13, 2011 by jenschuyler

I thrive with routine. Oh, I enjoy spontaneity, but I need routine. The past two weeks have made me come to appreciate that. With sickness, snowstorms, health tests and a birthday, I’m finding myself in need of a week without interruption.

A week and a half ago, during our first snowstorm the sprinkler system at our church burst and left 2 inches of water in our foyer and all of the staff offices. Thankfully an emergency crew of members showed up to move all of the furniture out of the offices and into our Family Life Center. This meant that, even though 2^nd man was feeling better, he had to work from home. Now, we get along terrifically, however, it still threw me off of routine having him here all day everyday. It was a challenge for him as well.

2^nd man also had to have some medical tests done this past week due to some abdominal pains he’s dealt with for some time now. It wasn’t necessarily anything major or life threatening, however, as I was in the waiting room I decided to finish a book I had started several weeks prior. Evidence Not Seen is the name of the book and one that I’d highly recommend…just not while your husband is undergoing medical testing. I found myself reading a part of the book where this woman, in a Japanese prison camp during WW II finds out about the death of her husband in another prison camp. Her faith and strength from the Lord is simply outstanding and convicting. She even found herself witnessing to the cruel camp commander when he brought her into his office to discuss the situation. I found myself sitting there bawling my eyes out as I read and praying, “Lord, why am I reading this now? Please don’t let this be some sort of preparation.” Sounds kind of silly and emotional huh? But, it was a powerful feeling nonetheless.

Later in the week 2^nd man took me out for the evening for my birthday. Dinner out is always a good gift for the stay at home mom. No cooking, no dishes, nuff said. After dinner and a little shopping we did my favorite new thing (if only it could be habit). We went to Panera Bread Co. for coffee and scones. I just love the atmosphere of calm music and trendy sandwiches, baked goods and coffee. I wish so badly we had a Panera Bread Co. in our town. I’d probably set up some sort of office from there. I could just see myself recruiting for counseling appointments so that I could have coffee and scones. We’d probably go broke in a year or less. Or maybe I could get the church to provide a Panera fund? Hmmm? (pause typing for a far off thought wandering moment).

The kicker for the week is when we got a call this morning (3:30am) that an alarm was going off at the church. 2^nd man went out to take care of it. However, I find myself awake now with no hope of going back to sleep. I started the coffee and watched a few DVR’d decorating shows. Then I realized, I haven’t even had a chance to blog all week. Somehow, with no routine, and family underfoot at all waking hours, I never found enough quiet time to put together some thoughts. Such is life, so here I am doing it at 5am. Just another hour and a half and the family will start waking. Hopefully, I’ll be ready for them.

I’m so ready to get back to routine. We’ll start this week off with church today. Regular church. No snow closings, or sprinkler rearranging. Regular, routine, wonderful church services. Then tomorrow I’ll send 2^nd man off to the office and start school at a regular routine hour. I may even find myself getting the house clean and dinner cooked. I may be dreaming here, for I know that each day brings with it any number of variables. I pray for plan A, but prepare to be flexible enough for plan B. I’m just hoping the Lord agrees with my sense of needing plan A for a little while, for my own sanity’s sake.

Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife, Life Lessons, Teens

Will I be in the Ghetto in Heaven Someday?

Posted on January 19, 2011 by jenschuyler

If Heaven has a ghetto, I think I’ll be living there. There seems to be plenty of evidence of reward and responsibility when we get to Heaven, based upon our service and devotion to Christ here in this life. Yet, whenever I ponder my Christianity I seem to come up so short, that it’s shameful and pitiful view. I see how I try to love and serve Gene (our semi-homeless friend). Yet, he seems to push my buttons sometimes. Then there’s Larry (our “special teen” –changed name) who does the same to me.

Gene left socks for me to launder for him. This isn’t the problem exactly. I offered to him long ago that I’d be willing to wash his clothes for him. Hoping it would be all of his clothes. However, he only brings me socks. And it’s only like once every three months or so. Well, he left some last week for me to clean. I hung them right inside my front door as I was in a hurry that morning. When I got home that afternoon, the girls were going to have a friend come over. We were doing a quick clean up before she arrived when I passed through my front hallway. “What died!” I exclaimed. Then I realized it was Genes socks. I quickly threw the bag out on the front porch and tried to detox my entryway. Still don’t know if the mom of the girl smelled it or not. So, I finally got them laundered and had to run some extra cycles with vinegar to clean out my machine. I decided then, that I was just going to stock up on socks, so whenever he brings them, I’ll just give him new ones. Anyway, I told him they were ready and I’d just stick them in his front door so he wouldn’t have to carry them around town all day. He made sure I would put them inside the storm door so nobody would steal them….blink…blink. Everything in me wanted to say, “Gene, there isn’t a rat in town that would want these babies.” But I refrained.

Then there’s Larry. We were to pick him up for the teen activity Monday. Instead, he did his usual of just showing up at the house right during crunch time. He and Gene, both, were on my front porch wanting coffee and to talk. I, meanwhile still had wet hair, girls who were having wardrobe crisis, and a 4 year old boy who still wasn’t dressed, all with 15 minutes until departure. I looked at Larry and said, “we’ll pick you up soon.” And to Gene, “here’s your coffee, but I can’t chat this morning.” To which he said ok, but continued to tell me what was on his mind.

Poor Larry, we did pick him up, but the teens were ruthless to him that day. It’s a hard thing with people like him. I totally understand how the teens can get frustrated, because he talks incessantly. Big, bold talk that cannot possibly be true sometimes. As much as he can be annoying, 2^nd man and I still love him and appreciate the spice he adds to life, but the kids can’t seem to balance that. They unscrewed the cap on the crushed peppers at the pizza place. When he went to get some the whole jar ended up on his pizza. Oh, he was not happy at all…who could blame him? Even I got a little impatient in the car while we were waiting back at the church to go home. He was telling me that he remembered a time when he was 3 years old when their car slipped on an icy bridge into the guardrail. I could work with this story, but he lost me when he spoke of how they all jumped out of the car just in time for the car to fall off the bridge into the icy waters below. Uh huh. It was then I excused myself to get 2^nd man hurried along and into the car.

I get so disappointed with the teens and how impatient they are, but I wonder how bad I behave as well. I want to love these guys like the Lord would. Then, I get put in these situations where I wonder how the Lord could? Then I wonder how he could love me too? I read on a friend’s facebook today a quote that I love: “Everyone has wisdom enough to manage the affairs of his neighbors.” -Benjamin Franklin. Isn’t it true that we can see other’s faults so much easier than our own? Ahhh, will I ever please the Lord? Or will I just be put in the corner ghetto of Heaven someday?

Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife, Daily Musings, Teens

Back to the Grind

Posted on January 3, 2011February 2, 2013 by jenschuyler

So, I’m two cups of coffee into the day, and trying to rally myself back into the grind. I usually welcome the return to routine after long breaks, but I’m having trouble this time. I think it’s a sinus infection that I’ve been feeling coming on the past couple of days. Guess I’ll have to interrupt the first day back with a little trip to the urgent care office for some meds. Honestly, I think it’s my rebellious body’s way of putting off getting back into the workouts and clean eating. My sweet tooth has been in overdrive the past couple of weeks and I’m gonna have to tame it again. Think I’ll be visiting my favorite healthy websites like http://www.thegraciouspantry.com/ and http://www.cleaneating.com/ to get re-motivated. 2^nd man got me a dutch oven for Christmas this year. It was exactly what I wanted. It’s even green like the Pioneer Woman’s on the front cover of her cookbook. I often walk around with it posing and asking if I look like her…yea I wish. She doesn’t have maybe the healthiest recipes, but they sure are good and your family thanks you after attempting her stuff from http://www.pioneerwoman.com/ . Boy, I sure am plugging a lot of websites here huh?

I’m hoping my mom reads this post because I wanted to show her the church sanctuary. Saturday, Stacy (the head decorator) and I and some men of the church hung the new curtains for the baptistery and the banners our pastor ordered. Our church building is only two years old and we’ve been staring at blank walls all that time. The building is beautiful and we’re so excited to be in it. However, when you really enjoy decorating, the blank slate can almost be overwhelming. Stacy sewed like 24 hours straight or something on the curtains. She’s this wonderfully confident woman. We had a good laugh together, knowing that not everyone will like the new look. If it were me that had done all that sewing, I would burst into tears at the first little criticism just from shear exhaustion. That’s why she’s the head of the decorating committee, as she says it, “People don’t share their opinions with me.” I, on the other hand, you may remember, wear the sign on my head that says, “Please criticize me.” So, it’s all hung and decorated and I just love it. It finally feels like home.

I was considering quitting this committee for a while, but just can’t. I really do enjoy decorating at church. I know it’s not the most spiritual of jobs, but I feel like it helps set a mood for people when they enter the church. Just like any home, you want people to feel comfortable, welcome, and calm so they’ll stay and sit a while. I think it’s even more important for the house of God. So, I’m gonna stick with it.

We had our monthly GAP (Games And Pizza) night last night after the teen service. I love teen service nights. We usually have one of the young men who are called into ministry do the preaching. That or we invite a college student who is a ministerial major to come preach. The other young men sing or usher and the young ladies sing and greet people in the foyer. I wish I had been so bold as a teen or even encouraged to take part in the services. It’s great training for them to take part this way. We’ve been blessed with some really talented teens all these years either in singing or instruments.

I think I’m getting a little bit rambling here with my topics so I’d better wrap it up. The coffee is kicking in. Guess that’s my cue to get back to the grind.

Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife, Teens

Back from the Youth Conference

Posted on December 30, 2010 by jenschuyler

Well, we’re back from the youth conference and, hopefully, rested. It went very well this year. We took a smaller than usual group of only 19 kids which was actually kind of nice. The group was, mostly, comprised of 7^th-8^th graders as well…also kind of nice. The only drawback to this age group is that they behave as if they’ve never been to a nice hotel and that they’ve never seen a phone in a hotel room. After about 20 prank calls for Chinese takeout between the boys and girls rooms, they finally seemed to get adjusted.

The preaching was top notch. Hopefully all the kids (and adults) walked out with something to work on in their lives. I know I did. He had a whole message on loving the Word of God. Can you believe it? The very thing I’ve been trying so hard to work on in my own life. So much for just the youth getting anything out of these conferences.

2^nd man did a fantastic job in his session to the Youth Pastors. I know I’m biased, but he was looking pretty tired that morning before the session. I was wondering if he was going to have it in him. But the Holy Spirit seemed to take over and energize him. The timing was perfect and the delivery superb. Here’s a little synopsis on what he said to encourage the others in youth ministry:

Title: Finding Grace to Stay in the Race!”

Hebrews 12:1-2

I. We will need the right Purpose.

a. John 4:34 our purpose is to serve God, not ourselves,or the teens. This should be our purpose for any ministry…not just youth ministry.

II. We will need the proper Perspective

III. We will need the correct Plan

IV. We must have the right Pursuit

a. Don’t compare with other ministries: “if only we had a gym or a better building, or a bigger town etc.”

Ok, so my notes aren’t the greatest. However, he shared testimony of how he had a hard time in those first few years of ministry. However, when he was just about at his end and taking it to the Lord it was as if God said, “look at how Jesus did with the disciples.” They were 12 grown men who were in the very presence of the savior and they still had lumps and bumps. We (in youth) are dealing with immature teens who aren’t in the direct physical presence of God. Why do we think we’re going to have it easier?

Even as I write this I know I’m doing 2^nd man a bit of a disservice by trying to relay his message. But I hope you can get the gist of his message. I think it was received well and encouraged some out in the crowd. It was really neat to have the Harris’s there who were in our youth department at that beginning time. They are now married and serving in youth ministry. It’s was nice to be able to point them out as an example of how we don’t always know how God is working through our ministries.

On a funny note, 2^nd man gave three girls permission to join us for one day of the conference, because they weren’t able to come to the entire event. They were going to just hang out with us for the day instead of getting a hotel room etc. One of them was my greatest critic who I’ve mentioned in previous posts. She seems to really hate me. I’m not guessing or assuming, no, she’s made it clear. Anyway, that morning my girls had gone down to breakfast and I was finishing up getting ready in the hotel room. I went over to open the curtains and there they were just pulling up into the parking lot. I thanked God for the heads up and said a quick prayer asking for grace and patience to show her love. Awkward as it was, the day went pretty well. Though we didn’t exactly carry on a one on one conversation, we were able to be in the same room and converse as a group. They made my room (of all rooms!) their home base for the day because of one of the girls with whom I was rooming. It was all going well, though they overtook the room and spent forever getting ready for the evening service. I needed to get into the bathroom and get myself ready, but I chose to try and be patient for their sakes. That’s when the toothbrush conversation occurred. Yes, a silly time filler of a conversation in which she shared some meaningless info. About some of her toothbrush habits. I simply responded with a “Huh.” When it came out…yes, my least favorite comment of all time, “Don’t judge me I don’t like to be judged.” Really? I know God was trying to grow me in the area of patience and who knows what else, but I reached my limit, asked if they were done with the bathroom and shooed them all downstairs. I didn’t rush to get ready. Though I was late to service, I just had to take the time to chuckle with the Lord. Sometimes I think he has such a sense of humor, just wanting to see how I’m going to respond. Or maybe it’s not humorous at all to him, and if that’s the case, I should be ashamed. I gave myself high points for putting up with her, but I wonder if he gave me any at all.

Anyway, it’s all over now, and time to get back to the grind. 2^nd man is playing video games at the church with all of the boys while I try to recover my house from all the events of the last week and a half. I love these days when you can accomplish so much without even getting dressed. I’ll enjoy it today and be on with the ministry move on tomorrow. Have a great day everyone!

Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife

Ministry Move On

Posted on December 27, 2010 by jenschuyler

So Christmas is over and it’s time for the “ministry move on.” What I mean by that, is that in the life of a minister (an his family) you don’t get a whole lot of time to dwell on events. We had such a great time with my folks being in town (even 2^nd man…yes even with his in-laws) that it was hard to say goodbye yesterday. Part of me wanted them to stay just a little longer, but then we’re getting ready to leave town anyway.

I’m thankful for the seemingly slow week last week. Aside from doing dishes every five minutes and starting the next meal after every one we ate (note to self: buy many more paper plates next time), we were able to really enjoy each other. The eating was far from clean and healthy. 2^nd man and I will go into detox mode in a few days. However, we tried to mix healthy food with Christmas food…not an attainable goal. Christmas eve and day were fun, relaxing and spiritually moving times. I love extending the whole sense of the time from an evening through to the next day. I love worshipping our Lord and Savior together as an extended family. I would love it more if our church did a Christmas Eve service, but worshipping at home can be so sweet and moving as well.

Then, we woke up Sunday and had to get things moving along. Mom and Dad had to eat lunch and take off after morning services. Then commenced the recovery program. I only had one day for this and a little bit of time this morning. I started off really well with getting the bed sheets changed and the kitchen cleaned up, but the call of the Sunday nap overtook me and I gave in for a half hour. After evening services the kids (including the 2^nd man here) played with their new Wii and I attacked the bedrooms. It’s amazing how dirty a bedroom can get when you shove three kids into it for a week. I’m convinced that a bomb exploded in the clean clothing basket my girls were living out of all week.

Now, it’s Monday morning and we’re well into the “ministry move on” I spoke of previously. After lunch today, we’re loading the bus and heading for Tulsa for a three day youth conference. 2^nd man is speaking at a breakout session for the youth pastors tomorrow morning so he’s in his chair tweaking his stuff. I’m supposed to be working on rooming lists but, as you can see, I’m having a hard time getting into them mode. My main concern right now is how to pack the coffee pot. These conferences keep you going with activities and junk food until about 1am each night. “It’s only two nights,” you say? Well, they pack those days and nights full. No little rinky dink hotel coffee pot is going to do. It’s a nice hotel in which we stay, but they really lack in the coffee and more importantly the creamer. Yes, it’s not clean, but I love my coffee creamer.

I’m excited about the preaching and praying that the teens will be moved. I get the idea that when the kids are a little worn out, a little tired the tend to get a lot more tender. That’s when the Holy Spirit seems to be able to move in and get past the Christmas materialism and the teenage walls and do a work on the heart. Please pray along with me that He will do wonders these next few days. As tiring as it is, I’ve never been to one where it wasn’t worth it.

Hope everyone else out there had a terrific and Merry Christmas!

Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife, Daily Musings, Homeschooling, Teens

What do you do all day?

Posted on December 18, 2010 by jenschuyler

Boy, I haven’t even had time to sit and do much writing this week. Been getting the house ready for Momma and Dad to come visit for Christmas. It’s not that my house is a total wreck. However, the last time they visited was when our oldest daughter was in the hospital with a massive infection after having had her appendix removed. Let’s just say the house was not exactly a priority at that time. I know they didn’t mind, but there’s something in a daughter that has to somehow prove to her mother that the hard work was worth it and, yes, I got the lessons in cleaning down.

Anyway, this little introduction leads me to some recent statements that crack me up and irk me at the same time. You see, we’re in the middle of a crisis in the staff at church. Our song leader has accepted a job in another state. This is bad enough, but the fact that he’s married to the church secretary multiplies this crisis by a hundred. I don’t think she even knows how significant a role she plays in the office. Not only does she do the unending secretarial work, she also represents our church to outsiders, and has to stop what she’s doing about fifty times a day to talk to people who seem to treat her like she’s the eyes and ears of the church, only there to listen to us little people who need to talk while pastor is studying. I include myself in this, because I have come to realize how much she pauses her day just to give me a phone number or address or put me through to my own husband.

Pastor, semi-jokingly, asked 2^nd man and me to pray about my taking the job and putting my kids in school or doing video school. My first thought was flattered and excited. I’d love to do that job! Then reality set in.

What was I thinking? What do I do all day? I mean, I just had a meltdown two weeks ago about the amount of papers I had to grade and planning to do. Do I really think I want to add a full time job on top of that? These were some of the thoughts with which I played around for a while. 2^nd man and I both realized that our very first priority as a family is to honor God. By that we feel very strongly that it is necessary that I give these precious kids the very best foundation that we can think of. The girls are further down the road than our little guy, and we don’t want to cheat him. It really made me stop and take stock of our goals and where God would have me to be… an important fact that I’ve taken for granted. So, while I was sooooo tempted to get a “real” job, I think that God would not like me there. Just think how awful that would be for the whole church!

Anyway, this leads me to the part that irks me. Through all of this, I’ve had several comments come from young people that just make me shake my head. The first came from a young man that we took home from our teen Christmas party. He told us that he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to make it to church the next day since it was so late, (9:30 pm), and he was so tired. I replied quickly (and admittedly in the flesh) that when he had three kids and a spouse to help get ready and feed in the morning, that I’d listen to his excuses. Um yea, not the best response I know.

This comment was followed by another from a young woman at our Wednesday night teen program. She was trying to let me know that there was no way she could do memorization or reading because she was so busy. I suggested she read the homework sections to the little boy she babysits. Or practice memorizing while practicing basketball. “You just don’t understand how busy and tired I am.” She responded. I held my tongue on this one. I’m not so sure I was able to hide my facial expression though. I’m sure I looked something like a roll of the eyes or and attitude of “really?”

What do people think I do all day? Why is it that a teacher in a classroom is working a real job, while a mother in the bedroom teaching is just wasting time? Do other homeschoolers not grade their children or have to read their work? Am I the only 2nd mans wife who helps counsel teen girls, or be the “unofficial” teen secretary? Do they realize that the people in my family like to eat? Where does everyone else’s food come from? Was I left out of a meeting that told me how to get through life without doing laundry or having to clean a bathroom? Do other people not have to pay bills? Or listen to excrutiatingly long stories about a dream someone had last night? When do other people make their bank deposits or get their groceries done? Who tends their gardens, kitchens, living rooms, growing children, husbands? I’ve been jipped! When was this information given out? Arghhhhhh! Snort! Humph!

So, anyway, I’m not taking the job. Those shoes are too big and I already have trouble fitting into my own. I’m certain God will provide the perfect person eventually. Until then, I guess it’s back to my soaps and bon bons.

Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife, Teens

Christmas Party Survival

Posted on December 13, 2010 by jenschuyler

Well, I survived the Christmas party weekend. Of course, I had to let my hands recover from all of the dishwater pruning before I could attempt to write about it. The weekend started with an epiphany of sorts. For the last thirteen years of our ministry here in Oklahoma, I’ve baked sweetbreads for the teens to give to the widows that we carol to at our annual party. This was an inherited and expected tradition when we arrived here, so I felt it necessary to keep it up. I thought I was sooo smart by buying multiple bread pans and baking the boxed kinds of breads. I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to realize that I should organize a night before the party for the teens to help in all of this. It was wonderful and saved so much time! Besides, it gave them extra time to be with each other and a more vested interest in the giving out of the bread. I’m not always the fastest car on the track.

The survival part I referred to earlier, lies in that at the same time I scheduled these teens to help me, I was supposed to be helping decorate for the Adult Christmas party our church annually hosts. It was a night of a lot of running back and forth. I have loved being part of the decorating committee. However, I think my days are numbered here. I get so excited about putting together centerpieces and seeing the looks on people’s faces when they enter the transformed gym at various events. Yet, I have to admit it wears me out. Not to mention the days of school that are ruined because Mommy is supposed to be decorating and my poor kids have to entertain themselves quietly in a Sunday school room somewhere. Anyway, just something I’m praying about. Seems some of the other women without kids in the house all day may enjoy the chance at it for a while.

The adult Christmas party did go well. The teens served dinner to all of the adults, which was a nice switch up from the buffet style. However, 2^nd man recruited my help for a game just before the party started. I was supposed to hold up an applause sign as he hosted a version of “Family Feud” with couples from the audience. The problem came when, just before the party, we realized I had a hole in the armpit of my sweater. Do these things happen to other people? Let’s just say the applause sign waving turned into a one handed job that wasn’t executed very well.

After getting home around 11:00pm I turned around Saturday morning and started preparing for the teen party that night. 2^nd man took the kids out caroling to the widows of the church while I stayed back and cooked up all of the party food. Took me longer to do the dishes than cook the food, so I was in the kitchen most of the evening. Sounded like the kids had fun though. This doesn’t really bother me much. Sometimes I’m not up for the loud boisterous games, so I slip into my Martha mode and clean. Tickled me when one of the teens earlier in the evening asked, “So who does the dishes for the church?” to which I replied, “You’re looking at her.”

I was only sad that I missed the caroling when 2^nd man shared with me their visit with one of our ladies who is passing with cancer. I had called her family to make sure she would be up for the visit. They insisted that she’d love it. 2^nd man said he gave her a hug after they all sang and she and he just held each other and cried a little. (Makes me tear up thinking about it). What a treat to be the opening act for what she’ll hear soon.

I always love the Christmas parties at church and seeing all the smiling faces. But, boy it’s so relaxing when it’s over. Now, I can prepare for the family and focus on the REASON FOR THE SEASON.

Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife, Life Lessons, Parenting

Trying to Get Deep

Posted on November 30, 2010 by jenschuyler

I wonder sometimes if anyone else ever struggles with their devotions? Boy, I can go in spurts that can be awful. Here I’ll already feel guilty with the Lord about my lack of depth or insight and then I’m inclined to share with a teen girl or lady from the church they really need to get into the Word. I think I just complicate it in my mind. I’ll read a book by someone else and think “Wow! They got some real insight from the Lord!” and then I’ll sit down to read and I get a geneology or something similar. I’ll try to read as deep into as I can… but the…I get nothing.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, it’s not always like that, I was just wondering if anyone else ever struggles. It’s like a feeling of inferiority. I think the teacher in me wants to find some new insight or wow moment to share with everyone. I’ve struggled with it recently because I’m supposed to teach the pastor’s wife’s ladies class this Sunday. I think I tend to overcomplicate things. So, I’ve decided to do something I’ve never done before. I’m stealing 2^nd mans stuff. Not really, I asked him for it first. He actually taught his Sunday School lesson to the teens last week on this kind of thing. How we should be meditating on the Word of God and how to make it more meaningful and gather all we can out of it. He didn’t even know my struggle when he prepared the lesson, but it was pointed right at me.

(I might add here one of my beefs about older teens who say they don’t get anything out of the youth classes anymore. BALONEY! I’ve been in the youth class for the 13 years we’ve been married and then some. I get stuff out of it regularly. That’s an excuse for feeling too big in their britches or just wanting out. Parents beware of this excuse.) Ok, I’m off the soapbox.

Anyway, my pastor’s wife says that she likes to give me, and the outreach minister’s wife these opportunities to share what God has done in our lives lately. Well, this is what he’s been working on…getting deeper. Deeper with Him and deeper into His Word. I’ve used other people’s books before as outline guides for a class so why not my own husband’s stuff. (with girlier application and illustration of course).

Sweet Mom Moment: Driving to church Sunday night, my kids noticed the big, lighted angel in the local park was turned on that night. They were all oohing and aahing at it. My daughters decided to quiz our little guy about it. “Whose birthday is it that we decorate for?” to which he replied, “Jesus, it’s Jesus’ birthday.” They were praising him for getting it right when he went on, “I hope it makes him happy.” My thought to that is “me too” I hope it makes Him happy too.

Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife

Longevity Moment!

Posted on November 29, 2010 by jenschuyler

We had a longevity reward last night at church. In through the doors came a precious family from the past. Yes, that deacon from the “grassy knoll” on the paintball field, (as mentioned in a previous post) his wife and two sons came for a visit. These guys are all grown up now, but were such great kids in our youth department long ago. One is married and the other, I suspect, is about to be. He brought his girlfriend from Pennsylvania to meet the family…and us! It was such an honor that he’d want us all to meet her.

Our pastor’s wife approached 2^nd man and I before church started and invited us over for pizza and fellowship with this family. 2^nd man took the route of joking around about being busy. I shamelessly and without letting her even finish her sentence said “yes!” I think my lack of adult conversation, is making me lose all dignity when an opportunity arises. Not to mention the fact that dinner was taken care of, woo hoo! Anyway, we agreed to come over to their house.

At the table we were able to get updated on David (the younger son’s) ministry traveling around the country and world as an evangelist with another evangelist Dave Young. He teaches the children as the evangelist preaches to the adults. It was so exciting to hear of his experiences and the salvations. He’s always been into illusions and uses these tricks in his program. Now, he’s started an illusionist show for teens, they call Magic and Morality. You can read more about it at http://www.daveyoungrevivalteam.com/ in their October 2010 newsletter.

KC, the older son, is married to a wonderful young woman and it blesses us to see them doing well together for Christ. He was able to go through secular college and grad school, get a very fine job and still continue serving the Lord with his life.

These moments are almost parental in feeling for 2^nd man and I. It’s a kind of shot in the arm to see former teens from our youth department doing well and serving the Lord. It almost cheapens the feeling to try to describe the warmth it brings to our hearts. I’m even going to go ahead and throw out what they both said about me. They both have mentioned in the past that they were looking for girls like me (I’m sure mixed in with some other wonderful women). Now, the reason I mention it is not to brag. For, I don’t think they necessarily meant my exact personality or looks mind you. However, I think they were moved by watching the Lord work in 2^nd man’s and my marriage. We’ve always tried to portray to the teens how we love each other and that marriage is fun and good and enjoyable. It was an honor to hear them say these kind words.

I relish these longevity rewards that God sends our way sometimes. It’s energizing and motivating. I’d like to say they don’t come often enough, but God’s in control of that one. What a wonderful life!

Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife, Parenting, Teens

Some things the Youth Pastor’s Wife Wishes she Could Tell Parents to Teach Their Daughters Intro:

Posted on November 23, 2010 by jenschuyler

Some things the youth pastors wife wishes she could tell parents to teach their daughters:

1. How to act ladylike. A good burp or bodily function can be funny at certain times, but really….it’s not that enjoyable to the rest of us. The boys may laugh, but they aren’t sincerely impressed. Who wants a wife that can out noise them?

2. You aren’t the center of the universe. I know this is the lifelong plight of all parents to teach their children. However, of recent it would seem that some parents promote this thinking. Perhaps training them to look outside of themselves and see a bigger world would help them and the world.

3. You don’t need a boyfriend. Here’s the biggie. Yes, I want my daughters to like boys, but I don’t want them to need boys. I witness so many girls sacrifice personality and character all for the sake of flirting.

4. You do need God. My mom used to tell me that there was nothing more attractive than a godly man…she was right. I would surmise that the opposite is true coming from the boys’ side. I’m sure that a godly girl must seem quite attractive and even challenging. I would love to ingrain this in all teen girls I meet. It would so improve and fulfill their entire lives if they could have their full confidence in God. Any man that he brings into their lives from there would be icing on the cake

5. Be thankful. So many young women aren’t thankful…for anything. This leads into adult women who aren’t thankful. Thankfulness is a godly character that should never be underestimated (read Psalms). And remember: Silent gratitude is of no use to anyone.

6. Teach them to be keepers of their homes and not women’s libbers. My mother’s generation was so focused on teaching my generation to think only of myself and get a career and make money and be like a man. Now my generation is stuck trying to teach ourselves how to take care of our homes. Careers and money are great, but the family still needs fed and the toilets still get dirty.

7. Dress modestly. Oh yes, the cry of youth pastors wives nationwide. The girls seem to think this is only for church or to please their youth leaders. Why? Because it seems we’re having trouble getting moms on board with this. This will always be a challenge in a woman’s life in this modern world, however, it is possible to be fashionable and modest. Why would you want to show yours or your daughter’s goods to the world? I’m especially astonished at what people allow their daughters to wear even to church. The ability to blush has become a lost character trait. Please moms, don’t sacrifice your daughters to the world this way. Oh, and btw this is one of those battles we should choose to fight.

8. Communication. I am always so surprised and impressed when I come across teens who can talk with adults. Oh, not about boring stuff to them like decorating or grocery bills. But conversations about matters like God, and the world and challenges in life. We must, as parents, teach our kids to communicate, so that as they grow they will continue to communicate. They are facing so many tough challenges in the teen years that if they don’t know how to keep talking to parents and teachers and God, they are left to navigate these years alone. Many seem to shut down and adults take this as a natural stage. There is nothing natural about shut down.

9. Be respectful. Life is not fair. The teachers can be subjective, the pastors and youth pastors can make mistakes, not to mention parents can mess up too. However, this does not give teens the right to be disrespectful. I don’t always agree with who is in the office of the president, but if I ever met the president you can bet I’d give him respect for the sake of the position. It is vital to teach kids to be respectful of authority even if they disagree with that authority. You can bet we, in the ministry, know who is having disrespectful conversations about the ministers at home. It shows in their kids behavior and attitudes.

10. Finally, please use the youth pastor’s wife. It is not an official position that’s for sure. But, I never feel more fulfilled than when God allows me to be of use for him and my husband by talking or praying with a young lady. Even godly parents could use the reinforcement of another person giving their daughter godly advice. It’s not that I want to know all their junk. It’s that they are allowing me to be a part in their circle of influence. This is wise on their behalf.

Hmmm, this is quite the list. I’m thinking I might have to expand on some of these points in days to come…