Category: Associate/Youth Pastor’s Wife

Posted in Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife, Daily Musings, Parenting

All by Myself

Posted on by jenschuyler
     I had the most wonderful day today.  One of those that people like me dream about, but rarely get to see.
            2nd man took the teenagers paint balling.  No, this is not where I went.  I learned long ago that this was not the activity for me.  I went two times in our first couple of years here in Oklahoma.  The first time was exhilarating as I won one of the games by capturing the flag.  However, the second time I went, I was shot to pieces.  I was sure it was 2nd man doing the shooting.  The referee was squatting down behind where I was trapped.  As the paintballs kept hitting me they wouldn’t break.  The referee was getting a kick out of this as he kept chuckling and informing me “you’re still alive ha ha.”  2nd man could hear me writhing and kept yelling over through the trees, “check yourself!  See if they’re breaking!”  to which I replied, “Stop shooting and I will.”  By now I was in tears, not for the pain, but for the anger welling up in me.  I just couldn’t understand why he kept shooting me without pause. He was so asking to sleep on the sofa.  Finally, one of the paintballs broke and I was declared officially “dead” for that game.  It was later that I found out it wasn’t 2nd man shooting me at all.  It was one of the deacons of the church.  One of the sweetest, meekest, and mildest men in our church tried to kill me from the rush of the game…arghhhh….men.
            Anyway, instead of putting myself through torture, I farmed out the kids to a friend and went to Tulsa for the day.  Yes, all by myself, with money to spend and an agenda to be had.  I planned the whole day beforehand.  Had coupons in hand and a car to myself.  I left early in the morning, and the most exciting part, I had no reason to rush there and back as usually happens.  This was good since I did end up taking a wrong turn and wandering around for about 30 minutes before getting my bearings again.  I kind of enjoyed the wandering jaunt through unknown parts of Tulsa without the pressure of getting to where I was going.  I had a classical station on the radio and found some most beautiful mansions in neighborhoods I’d never known.
            I had discovered, online, that Tulsa had a Whole Foods Store.  Boy, was that fun!  I could have spent half the day there discovering all the fun health foods and feeling so trendy and healthy.  However, the money ran out before the time.   I think I’ll have to return on a less busy day when I can wander around some more.
            I’ve now returned to real life and must now go get ready for Sunday morning.  Thankfully, 2nd man returned unscathed from his battles and even bathed the children for me.  Boy, what a day!
Posted in Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife, Daily Musings, Healthy Living

Body Fights and Teaching Plights

Posted on by jenschuyler
            Well, my body’s done it again.  Every time I start a diet or exercise program I get sick.  Happened just yesterday.  Thankfully, I think the worst is over, as I’m feeling much better today.  I get so irritated with the ol’ girl when it does this.  Can’t it see that I’m making changes for the good here?  Instead, it’s like my body is fighting back going, “hey, feed the fat lady!” or maybe, “ahhhhh what are you doing?   We need a Snickers like NOW!”  When I don’t answer the way it likes…well…there’s a revolt and the little sinus infection platoon is the first wave.  If I can hold out another week or two, I think I’ll be able to conquer. 
            I, regrettably, did cave a little under the pressure of the pizza at the teen night last Sunday evening.  I don’t know, something about the warm steaming smell of the garlic and crust, mm, mm.  Anyway, as 2nd man so eloquently put it “they spoke fancy to me, I couldn’t resist.”  I didn’t have very much though, and only drank water.  At least that’s a step in the right direction.
            It’s been actually kind of fun trying to find ways to eat clean.  I found a really neat blog called http://www.thegraciouspantry.com/  that has some great recipes.  The author seems very real, which I like.  Wish I could say I eat like a bird and can exist on seeds and nuts.  But, I need some meat, and taters too. I mean this is Oklahoma where I live.  We eat the animals out here on the plains.  That’s the only way we can get all this grain, which surrounds us, down.  Sandwich it with meat.
           
        On a ministry note, I received an email from our pastor’s wife today asking me to teach her ladies Sunday school class in a few weeks.  I love these opportunities, but boy do they challenge me.  First off is the intimidating crowd.  The front row is full of older ladies, mostly widows that are always gracious, but I know they could teach me soooooo much.  It feels, well, arrogant or something to stand in front of them.  The rest of the crowd comes across as a sea of faces.  It’s a funny thing to stand in front of a crowd.  I would suggest to anyone who does, not to try to read the faces.  So much can go wrong doing this.  You have the sleeping ones for one.  That’s never an encouraging factor.  Then, there are those that are smiling the whole time.  I like those people, but still sometimes wonder if they’re agreeing or amused.    Some, were just born with a sourpuss face. They are the ones that really get me all wound up. 
            2nd man is always willing to let me take her up on these opportunities to speak.  He often appreciates some feedback from his lessons.  I’ve been under his teaching along with the teens for so long, that sometimes I just figure he has it down.  But, when I teach a class I usually come home reeling, wondering if I did all right.  It’s funny how people that do like something don’t really voice it, but those that don’t like it are always ready with something to say.  Anyway, he likes me to be reminded of how it is to teach in front of a crowd and how important feedback can be.  It’s not the need for flattery, but just an outside opinion for guidance. 
            The second challenge, is preparing a lesson.  It’s hard to know what direction to go when you don’t get to do it very often.  God has always been gracious, but occasionally, I’ve wondered if I chose wisely.  I once did a lesson on the Holy Spirit.  I spent a week and a half reading, praying, and gathering information.  It was like a little revival in my soul.  I was so excited about it, and figured everyone else would be too.  I chose special songs pertaining to the Holy Spirit to start the class.  Problem is, I’m not a singer.  Seriously, I’m not just being modest here.  I asked the ladies to sing out and help me out, but instead it felt like I was up there doing a solo.  Instead of putting us in the mindset of listening and learning about the Holy Spirit, I felt like it was totally quenched.  I learned then, that no matter how the Pastor’s wife begins class, when I’m there, we’re not singing. 
            Then on another occasion, I had, what felt like, the simplest lesson.  I was sure everyone would be underwhelmed.  Instead, I got more compliments and responses than ever…go figure.  Guess this means I’d better wrap this blogging thing up for today and start praying for direction.
Posted in Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife, Marriage

God can use me?

Posted on by jenschuyler
I got to lead someone to Christ last night!!  What a privilege.  These are the moments that make everything worthwhile.  I am in awe that God would allow me this privilege.  I just about blew it too by yammering on without much clarity…I think.  Anyway, the young woman came up to me after the service and wanted to make sure she was saved after we had talked a long while before service.  It’s amazing how God can take someone’s yammering and make it something that someone else understands. 
     Then again, why should I doubt Him?  Bro. Davison was preaching out of Jonah last night at revival services.  I wanted to reread the whole book again this morning and dwell on it a little.  You know what stands out to me?  We know Jonah’s heart wasn’t in it.  I mean the man totally tried to run from God and was then traumatically and miraculously saved from the fish’s belly.    But, we know he wasn’t necessarily a changed man because of his attitude in the last chapter.  So how could God take this half-hearted, prejudice ridden, preaching and change the hearts of an entire city!  A humongous city at that! Wow!…I never tire of the illogical ways (it would seem to us) that God works in the hearts of man.
           
            On a lighter note, it’s nice to have 2nd man home with us today.  He’s taking his day off today (Thursday) instead of his regular Tuesday, because of revival.  Turns out it’s working well for him too.  It’s raining out today, a much needed rain.  Looks like the honey-do list won’t happen today, so 2nd man gets to rest a little. 
            Not so good for me.  I was hoping to distract him with outdoor chores as to get a day off of working out.  We used to workout regularly together and we’ve started again.  Honestly, I’m about to die.  My body is so sore, I don’t think I’ll be able to get off of this sofa to do anything today.  I was so tired yesterday morning when we began our workout, but the way 2nd man looks at me makes me keep going.  He gets this look on his face that is so wonderful.  It’s like he just loves when we do this together.  I’ll do anything to get that look out of him.  Hmmm…wish I could get it with my cooking 

MB3T7HN8WNKN

Posted in Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife

Some Thoughts on longevity in the Ministry

Posted on by jenschuyler
            I was talking with my mom the other day discussing the teens we currently have in our youth department.  It reminded me how thankful I am that we’ve been at this church for almost 13 years now.  Many youth pastors are only at churches for a couple of years, at most, statistically.  This really is sad.  I say this, because we have been blessed by our longevity. 
            We’ve now been here long enough to look back on our time here as eras.  The eras are, mostly, categorized by certain people that stood out in our minds at that time.  For example, we had one era that we refer to as the years of the “Es”.  We had four or five girls whose names ended with the long  “E” sound like Jenny, or Julie.  Some eras we look back on fondly and others, well, we’re thankful to have survived.  Some other eras are categorized by a general personality of the group.  Some were really into sports and others maybe music or something else.
            I was recently blessed when I started a list of those who’ve moved on to have served the Lord with their lives.  Contrary to what some kids would like to think, we aren’t only pleased with those that go to Bible college and on into full time ministry.  We’re equally as pleased with those that go into secular careers, but still serve the Lord with their lives wherever they are. 
            One of our daughters was recently in a wedding of a young woman who has been particularly special to me.  She is now a nurse, but has kept in contact through college and into the start of her career.  She and I would have coffee after she’d return from a medical missions trip or maybe just when she came to town.  I was able to watch and pray for her as she had her hopes dashed and heart broken.  However, I was also there to witness God bring the perfect man for her into her life.  She’d waited for him and tried to serve God consistently as she waited.  I almost felt like one of my own kids was getting married as I teared up….ok sobbed at her wedding.  What a blessing that she chose our family to be a part.
             Another blessing has come through a young man who went on after Bible college to be a traveling evangelist.  We get updates weekly from him of the great work he is doing for Christ.  He’s been all over the US and is currently in Asia.  The work just sounds so exciting and what a wonderful feeling to know we had a small part in his life as he grew up.
            This same evangelist has a brother who is not in full time ministry, but has stayed faithful to God throughout secular college and now into his career.  We were really humbled when he was considering marriage to his wife.  He shared with us that our own marriage was an example to him of what he wanted.  He and his wife are now happily married and well into careers.  It’s warming to hear from them as they serve the Lord together in their church.
            I honestly could go on and on with others here.  I’ve already written about the couple who gave us our car.  Of course, we’ve also had many break our hearts.  But, it’s those that have stayed faithful and made their relationship with Christ their very own, that energize us to stay faithful.
            It’s not that we’d never move if we felt God calling. Or that those that are called away early in ministry are wrong or something.  It’s just been a blessing, to us, that God has allowed us the longevity here. 
Posted in Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife, Daily Musings, Parenting

Costumes and Bumpers

Posted on by jenschuyler
     Another big weekend has come and gone.  We spent Friday setting up and Saturday hosting a Fall Festival in our family life center.  I know some people have differing opinions over this.  However, we believe that, just as we celebrate Christmas, which has pagan backgrounds, we might as well redeem other days for the Lord as well.  So, the youth in our church host this event, allowing kids from the entire town to dress in fun (no scary) costumes and come have fun.   We give each person who comes in the door a tract and an invitation to come to our church.  Boy that sounded like a big disclaimer huh ?
     Anyway, it was a busy, but fun time.  Our own kids really enjoyed it.  Well, they mostly enjoyed getting there early so they could have the inflatable games to themselves.  I had a Minnie Mouse, a Spiderman and a very modest Wonder Woman.  Had to make a special skirt to lengthen Wonder Woman’s costume.  The real wonder is that anyone recognized who she was supposed to be by the end of it. 
     Minnie Mouse had a wardrobe malfunction in the moon bounce.  Stepped on her dress and ripped it right down the middle.  Thankfully, we have a plastic tub of extra clothing we take to camps and we were able to fix her right up…disaster averted. 
      I took pictures of them all before we even left the house, because, sure enough, the mask was thrown off of spider man, the gloves came off of Minnie, and Wonder Woman had to get comfortable in order to play at all. 
      All in all, the teens did a fantastic job of setting up, running the show and even cleaning up afterwards.  We received tons of compliments on them; A shining moment on their behalf. 
Car Update:
     On the way to the Fall Festival Saturday evening a couple more moments in car history occurred.  You see, since writing about my car a few weeks ago, something new has happened every week.  Our friend Bubba has taken care of a couple of them graciously.  However, Saturday was something else.  I pulled up in the drive thru of a fast food joint to order dinner for the kids, only to find that all of the power windows, except mine, worked.  So, I had to do the redneck thing and open my door to order.  Then I had to open the door to pay and get the food too.  I contemplated pulling up so that my daughter in the back seat could pay and get the food, but this could send her into panic and spilled drinks. 
     After that I had to make a quick stop at the store.  When I came out and put my items in the trunk, the bumper fell off onto my feet… again.  This time it broke into pieces.  This sent me into one of my imaginations.  The thought that came up was of an episode of “America’s Funniest Home Videos” in which a wife kept locking her husband out of doors and cars until he would do some funny little dance.  “Come on!” he kept saying and then, finally, he’d do the dance.   I kind of feel like God is doing this to me.  Like He’s saying, “do your grateful dance Jenny” as he flicks the bumper off of my car.  “Come on!” I shout and then have to try to remind myself to be grateful.  Of course we Baptists don’t dance, but I have a little tribute for the Lord right now fully innocent with only arms that I think He understands.  One day I will be all grown up in this area of gratitude.  Can’t promise it will be this side of Heaven though. 
Posted in Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife

Lets Hear it for the Weirdos

Posted on by jenschuyler

     Several years ago, our pastor took the staff and their wives to a leadership conference in Lancaster, California.  There we heard David Gibbs speak among other wonderful speakers.  What stood out, in a humerous way, from one of his messages, was when he posed the question to us, “Do any of you have weird people in your churches?”  It took our little pew about five minutes to recover from the giggles. Our church seems to be full of them.  I say this lovingly, because I fully believe I must be one of them.  I know I attract them. 
     All self-depracating aside, I am amazed sometimes at the variety of people God has created and those he’s chosen to place in my life.  We’ve been at our current church almost 13 years and it seems we’ve always had at least 1 special person in our youth department.  I’m not making fun of anyone, I mean, God created them.  They are just special in ways in which others don’t always share or appreciate.  2nd man and I have started to learn to appreciate these people for the spice they add to our lives and really, the challenge sometimes to love that God calls us too.  It’s easy to love “socially acceptable” people.  But those that seem to go against the flow, well, they’re harder. Come on…admit it.
     We had one, I’ll call the boaster, several years back.  He loved to boast and brag to my husband and anyone else he could catch listening.  He was tall and loud.  The boaster especially enjoyed paintball.  2nd man generally takes the teens once a year to go paintballing.  Well, this boaster could spin a yarn about how good he was at paintballing that no reasonable man could believe.  As 2nd man put it, “if he were sitting next to someone new on the bus and telling his tales, that new person would say ‘I want him on my team!’ to which everyone else would say, ‘you can have him.’ ”  The boaster, also, would come back with tales of conquest against the youth pastor.  2nd man took it all in stride, but oooh boy he tried the patience.
      We had another, for a while, that was the singer.  This boy was itching to get up in front of the church and sing a song.  This is a great fear when nobody in the church knows a person or his testimony.  He really just wanted the attention.  However, the way he broke the news to 2nd man about wanting to sing was priceless.  2nd man was giving him a ride home one day and the boy proceeded to let him know “I can sing!”  then, without invitation, he went on to sing.  An entire song. … No pauses…  No breaths..No ability….  Every verse.  2nd man didn’t quite know what to say except, “now that’s a song.”  He was like one of those contestants on those singing shows that nobody steps up to tell them they can’t sing until they’ve made a spectacle on television.
      There was also the young woman who was a loud talker.  She would ask me (loudly during service I might add), “where’s he at? ” So I would help her find the place in the Bible that Pastor was preaching out of.  She would also answer all of pastor’s rhetoracle questions during the sermons as well as stand up and adjust her skirt in the front and center pew. 
     Right now, we have a special one too.  He puts “the boaster” to shame, he’s the ultimate big talker.  Sometimes I have to pick him up for services.  I’ve kind of made a game of picking a topic and just throwing it out.  He catches, and trumps up a story the whole 15 minutes to church. Things that couldn’t possibly be true, but he somehow seems to say it without hesitation, like it really happened.  One time, our 4 year old son asked his daddy in the car if a tornado was coming. It was raining after church and he’d just come to realize what a tornado was.  Well, big talker proceeded to “scientifically” expound to our young son how tornadoes are created and what the weather conditions must be.  To which our son responded with silence and blinking.
     I save my favorite for last.  It’s our little homeless guy.  He’s not really homeless, well not anymore.  We first met him downtown.  Our church was meeting at a local historicle theater while our new building was being built.  This guy wanders town every day.  He was homeless at the time and 2nd man’s heart was moved.  After inviting him in to worship with us many times, he finally did.  He started coming faithfully.  He’s almost every stereotype you can think of with tattered clothing, no bath in eons, missing teeth, and a shuffle when he walks.  He isn’t a drunk or on drugs though, which is a relief.  We kind of took him in as a family.  2nd man along with some of the mans family helped to get him into a house which is fairly close to where we live.  We’ve learned a lot about him through the years.  He actually gets disability checks, but for some reason doesn’t have much money sense, so he still lives and behaves like he’s homeless. He rarely uses the lights in his house, he always borrrows gas from us for his lawn mower.  He walks downtown to the local mission for his meals every day and spends afternoons at the library reading the paper.  He’s stubborn.  After attending our church in it’s new facility for a long time, we very gently asked him about cleaning up a little (truly his smell is legendary and it carries) and actually getting on the bus on time to get home. (he would sometimes hide out purposely so that 2nd man and I would have to take him home. Not really a bad thing, but it caused a lot of confusion for the bus drivers).   So in his stubborn childlikeness he has refused to come anymore.  However, he does stop by our house a few times a week for a free cup of coffee on his way to the mission shelter.  He loves the rocking chair on my front porch.  So he takes a seat, sips his coffee and fills me in on the latest news from the newspaper.  I don’t even have to get the daily paper anymore.  He’s frustrating, but we love him.
       The only bad thing about the big talker and my stubborn homeless man is that they both show up frequently on my front porch when 2nd man isn’t home so I end up being their hostess.  I can only imagine what the neighbors must think of me entertaining men on my front porch.  I’m sure some of them are at their windows trying to figure it all out.  I’ve had a few even ask about it.  I just assure them that they are harmless and just want a cup of coffee and someone to listen. 
      Many of the above mentioned are kind of weird in the world,s sense.  They lack something in their head like an inhibitor switch or something.  While most of the rest of us fight being self conscious and worrying about what others think, these people really don’t care.  They are who they are, take it or leave it.  In that sense they are weirdos.  But, as 2nd man says, “they add to the spice of life.”  Ministry wouldn’t be as interesting without them, or sometimes as challenging.  I really wouldn’t want it any other way.  They challenge me to love all of God’s creation.  Many have been deeply hurt somehow by someone.  You can just imagine Jesus reaching out to them, so we try to as well.  I won’t say I always enjoy it.  The unexpected door ringing at the most inopportune times does frustrate some days.  But without them, I wonder if I would be a total snob for Christ. I’m also challenged to realize that I’m a weirdo too, with my own stubborn ways and quirks.  I’m thankful God chose to call me to his saving knowledge, when he could have written me off as stubborn, unthankful and weird.

Posted in Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife, Homeschooling, Parenting

Homeschooling Obstacles

Posted on by jenschuyler

     Ok I admit it, there’s no shame or false pride here…homeschooling is hard.  I mean, being a wife and mom are already hard, guilt ridden hats that I wear, but this really tops it all.  What’s even scarier, is I have a teaching degree!  I think teaching in the classroom may have been easier. Hmmmm, guess this fear of succeeding or failing doesn’t come as heavily when you’re dealing with other peoples’ kids. 
     One obstacle in our family is our ministry lifestyle.  I was giving 2nd man a report the other day and realized that in the first 9 weeks of school, we haven’t had one week the same as any other.  The only consistency I can find is that we can expect something unexpected every week of our life.   This could be good I suppose.  My kids will have to learn flexibility.  However, I do get uneasy when I hear things like, “kids need consistency”  and,  “Consistency is the key to being a successful student.”  Well, in our house the cheer is “flexibility is the key, to win the victory!” 
    I sound ranting here, but I really do count it an honor to teach my kids.  I also take it as one of the biggest jobs in the universe.  If I raise complete morons guess who’s gettin’ the blame, and I may not know until like 10-12 years from now.
     At dinner the other night I was trying to get our 4 year old son to report to daddy what sound the letter “U” makes.  He started, “uhhh…” to which I responded before he could say anything else “that’s right!”   Truthfully, I’m not sure if he was just stammering or actually making the sound.  The rest of the family wasn’t sold on it either, I gather, from the roaring laughter of my husband. 
     Of course this same child was, on another night, reporting to daddy about our talk on Heaven and Hell.  He was letting daddy know that hell is dark “yes” 2nd man said, “it’s also hot and there’s screaming,”  to which 2nd man responded, “that’s true son.”  Then he went on to describe some sort of worms with wings and all sorts of other creatures and sounds that, frankly, we did NOT discuss.  2nd man just looked at me, “really honey?  I’ll take over the spiritual teaching from here.”  Can you say FAILURE?   Of course this is coming from the child who doesn’t like the options God has given him.  “Why can’t we just stay here?  I like my home. I don’t want a mansion.”  Truly, the Spirit must not be calling him yet. 
    Of course, our older two girls are doing a little better.  However, I have one who seems to lack focus.  She has the sweetest spirit of almost anyone I’ve every met.  She would bend over backwards to please me. Yet, somehow, when I’m grading her papers I wonder if she knows what year this is, and who I am let alone Christopher Columbus.   She can quote an entire book of the bible, but mulitplication eludes her.  I’m constantly swept back to college courses that  went over learning styles and teaching styles, but I’ve yet to figure this child out.  Do I love her?  Does she please me?  Is she a good kid? No question!  But, I may be bald by the time she graduates. 
     My other daughter catches on very quickly.  If anything, I struggle to read anything she writes.  She’ll probably be a doctor someday, judging by her handwriting.  With her, the struggle comes mainly in stretching her character traits.  Things come fast and easy for her.  It’s diligence and slowing down to do things well she needs to work on.
     I have some days that are rewarding and others where I wonder why I’m allowed to do this at all.  I’m thankful for the right to homeschool which I may not have here in a few years.  However, I’m no magazine article candidate.  I don’t wear denim jumpers.  My kids don’t all play musical instruments and speak five languages and march behind me like ducks.  I’m too scared to expand curriculum from what I already know and am familiar with.  And I’m pretty sure this sentence started with the word “and” and I’ve ended several previous ones with prepositions.  Let’s face it, my kids may very well be doomed, educationally speaking.  But, they do love the lord, we do laugh a ton in our house, and they get along really well.  I’m gonna hang my hat on that until I can find a sturdier rack to hang it on, if one exists.

Posted in Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife, Parenting

Perks in being the 2nd mans kid

Posted on by jenschuyler

     There are some perks to being the child of a 2nd man, specifically a youth pastor’s kid.  Since it was our oldest daughter’s birthday this week we chose to let her have a big party.  She was allowed to invite 10 girls, which was a monumental task in and of itself.  Since she knows most all of the kids in the church and is friends with many, we had to help her by narrowing it down to her specific grade in Sunday school.  I had to stealthily hand out invitations around church the week before the party, trying not to offend anyone who was not invited.  I’m not really a big “all nighter” kind of gal, ( I know, not a good trait in a youth pastor’s wife….deal), so we told her that it would be a set time party, but she could pick 1 person to stay the night.  They were given strict instructions not to talk about spending the night, because, again, feelings might get hurt. 
     So you may be wondering “where’s the ‘perk’ aspect to all of this hidden party stuff?  Doesn’t sound very fun when you’re trying so hard not to offend anyone.”  I’ve realized by now, that  I can’t totally get around everyone’s feelings, so I try my best and let the Lord handle the rest.  He’s the only one who really knows my heart is not in the business of purposefully offending.  We try not to imprison our kids to the chains of people pleasing.
     The perks come in the party part.   We hosted a pizza panic for this years party.  A scavenger hunt of sorts where the girls had to go around town to pre-planned homes and build a pizza in order.   Boy, did they get into it.  Most of the girls had never participated in a party like this before.  Some of them had heard about it from their older sisters in the youth dept. when they had one last year.  It’s times like these when we know we can pull games out of a bag that may be stale to the teens, but these pre-teens just eat it up.  I think my daughter kind of likes that aspect of having a zany dad that has experience hosting these kinds of things.  A dad that has all the details down like music for the car, how to pick teams fairly, and how to organize activities to extract the most fun out of the evening. 
     I like that she likes this.  There are many times in ministry, when 2nd mans focus is on the teens.  He’s an excellent father and very involved.  However, it is a fact of life that our lifestyle and his job means that were busy most nights of the week.  Sometimes, they don’t see much of him or are dragged around to different places with all of the teens.  They are privy to seeing teens who rebel and break our hearts and watching some of the bad choices.  It’s my prayer that they will watch and will learn from it.  It’s also my prayer that they’ll also notice the good.  The times when they get to stay after church for parties for teenagers, even though they aren’t teens.  The times they get to play around the church when nobody else is there.  And even the times they get to benefit from the preaching at conferences and camp, by renowned men of God.   It’s not all fishbowl and tattling.  And hopefully they appreciate the perks and the parties.

Posted in Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife, Parenting

Missionaries and Swords

Posted on by jenschuyler

   As I was walking my son to his class this past Sunday, we came across the table that our visiting missionary  from Wales had set up in the foyer.  Double mortification here. 
     First off, they had a sword on the table and were so niceley offering for my four year old son to be able to touch it.  Are you kidding?  They have no idea the trouble with swords in our house.  My son will weild anything over two feet long.  We’ve replaced at least six in the past two years.  A sad array of sticks, foam swords, light sabers and glowy batons that all lost the battle with this little man.  Almost daily the boy says “Momma we need to get me a new sword.” to which I reply that he needs to learn how to take care of them.  I know this is utter nonsense to his mind.  I’m sure if I could peak in, he’d be thinking, “what am I doing wrong?  They’re for hitting right?  Can I help it if they don’t stand up to what’s being hit?  Does this woman know how many ‘bad guys’ I’ve saved her from with all of those swords?”  Nearly all the walls in the house have an area of needed repair or repaint and the dogs take off running at the sight of him with one of his swords.  However, I didn’t want to disappoint the missionary so I stood there with little man and “helped” him touch the sword.  Like one of those “helicopter” moms who don’t let their kids out of their sight for a second, I stood there uttering,  “th th thats enough.  put ,put it, put the sword down.”  He was amazed and in awe of the gleaming replicated blade and the impressive weight.  I’m sure as he sleeps now he’s dreaming of the dragons he could slay with that thing. 
     The second reason for mortification, was the very realization of who these missionaries were.  I knew them right away, no need for introduction.  Thankfully they didn’t remember me, or chose not to reveal any remembrance.  Thirteen years ago when 2nd man and I moved here, we were living in our church’s missions house.  Being a new bride I loved the idea of hosting someone for dinner.  During our very first missions conference with this church, these very missionaries I stood before today, were there.  I was going to pamper and impress them.  I might add, this was during my Martha Stewart adoration days.  I decided to make a brisket.  Seemed like a “fancy” cut of meat that people in Oklahoma were impressed with, though I’d never really had it growing up in Ohio.  Well, I cooked that thing into beef jerky and…I served it proudly, as if I’d accomplished something great.  They were very polite guests and as we all sat around chewing, and chewing, and chewing, we had nice conversations about cookware that she (the missionary’s wife) recommended.  After they left, I vowed never to cook anything “new” for guests again, at my husbands request.
      I’m still no Martha Stewart (as my husband and kids will attest over the corndogs I served them for dinner last night), but hopefully, I’ve learned a few things over the years.  One of those being  – take the missionaries out to eat.  That way they can eat what they want.  My husband and I can both focus on the conversation. and they won’t feel entrapped in your house if they need to get down the road to the next church or would like to go back to the hotel/missions house to rest.  But, one word of advice…..leave the swords in the car.

Posted in Associate/Youth Pastor's Wife, Daily Musings, Parenting

2nd man, TV Repair man and all of those Advancing men

Posted on by jenschuyler

I was so excited about starting this blog.  Now I’m finding myself hushing my kids out of the room to figure out homeschool stuff on their own so I can think of something witty to say…………crickets……..chirp…….I got nothin, ‘cept  3 neglected kids. 
     So here’s my day.  2nd man’s been hurt by someone’s words so he’s in a bit of a funk.  Not that he’s not allowed to be.  I just dread days that are like that.  I find myself unmotivated and wishing there were some magic words I could say to help.  He doesn’t get this way often.  As a matter of fact he awes and inspires me with how he can handle people.  I’m usually the “funky” one.  (hope that’s ok for a minister’s  wife to say).  He is amazing how he can talk me off of a ledge in a matter of minutes.  God knew I needed him.  However, I know God knows what he (2nd man) needs too.  I just sometimes wonder how I can fit that need.  Soooooo, I find myself utterly distracted by this thought process today.
    On top of that the TV repair man had to come today.  Our shiny wonderful flat panel TV has been messing up.  Thankfully, it’s something the company (which will remain unnamed) knew about and the fix was free.  Something called a capaciter went out (which puts thoughts in my head of Doc in “Back to the future” who says Marty! it’s the flux capaciter!”).  I know I know random thoughts are abounding in this head of mine.
    Tonight 2nd man is going to a Men’s Advance.  The men at the host church claim that men should not retreat, so they purposely call it an “advance.”  I’ve always found that creative and funny.  Anyway, last weekend I was away on a ladies retreat (seems we’re not as spiritual), and he did all sorts of fun things with the kids.  I heard talk of a tent, a movie, a walk, the library, two parks and hot dogs.   blink.. blink.  I don’t think I have it in me.  I think Mcdonalds and Hobby Lobby are the extent of our fun tonight.  Maybe if I slip some benadryl in their drinks I may even get a bubble bath with a favorite book…now that’s a retreat!

*Ok for those who are shocked, I’m kidding about the benadryl 🙂